i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
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I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
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First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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