Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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