trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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