I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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