She's JV to your varsity
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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