the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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