Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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