In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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