Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
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I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
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I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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