i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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