he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
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I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
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We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
how drunk are you?
Several
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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