oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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