my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
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