It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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