is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize