if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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