that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize