Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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