Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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