I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize