Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize