come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
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OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
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Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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