i don't like sucking hair
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize