He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize