I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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