Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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