You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
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He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
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Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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