My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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