Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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