she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Someone shattered a urinal.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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