so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
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I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
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alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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