I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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