What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
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There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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