I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize