I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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