Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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