Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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