Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize