Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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