why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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