Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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