who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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