Screwed.edu
I am spending my child support on dildos
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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