a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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