hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize