just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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