as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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