today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
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I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize