Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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