DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
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I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
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He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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