I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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