so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
